Community Building

September 8, 2009

Fact #1: You can create a community anywhere. Even in a sports stadium. It just takes a little effort. 

Fact #2: Everyone wants to belong. Those folks who are not joiners; those folks who are social recluses – they want to belong too, just differently.

Fact #3: and this is really Fact #1, everyone wants to feel welcomed. Everyone wants to be part of a community.

For the last 10 years, we have spent every Friday autumn evening in the stands of a high school football stadium. Ten years is a long time. And in that time I have managed to learn almost nothing about football. Oh, I know the basics, but only that, the basics. Ten years of cheering on our team, spilling soft drinks on the seats, eating cold, tasteless hot dogs and nodding at fellow but mostly anonymous fans. And might I add that our team has had a losing season, almost every year, for ten years. So oftentimes we are a somewhat morose bunch. And our crowd thins every week. By week five, only a few of us diehards even show for the game. No one especially likes to lose, and no one likes to lose every time. No one.

About four years ago, I decided that I was tired of not knowing the names of my fellow football parents; it was embarrassing and awkward. I decided that I wanted to become acquainted with my fellow fans; I guess I wanted to create a community.

So I took the parent roster and created nametags. A simple, slap-on-your-shirt name tag for each parent. A name tag that included their child’s name and jersey number. 

It was intended as simply a way for me to learn everyone’s name, but it became something of a social experiment.

In the early days, before every game, I would approach every adult and ask if they were a football parent, learn their name and respond,  “Oh, I have YOUR name tag.” Here’s the surprising thing, everyone loved the recognition and the inclusion. Even folks who didn’t want to be noticed, wanted me to notice. And if I didn’t find someone, they found me; they were looking for THEIR name tag.

I do this every Friday. I wander through the stands and hand out name tags. At the end of every game, I always have a few unclaimed name tags and I always remember who didn’t make the game. And yes, I know it is ironic that for years, I couldn’t remember names but I can now remember the names of those who are missing.

And the next week, I always comment, “Hi there, we missed YOU last week.” People like that, they like knowing they were missed, they like knowing that they matter. Now in the four years since we introduced name tags, we have continued to have losing seasons. Truth be told, our boys try hard, but it’s a small school and well you get the rest. But our stands are much fuller, and most of our parents make every game. I am not sure why that is, but I like to think it’s because we have created a community; and I like to think that it is in part because of the name tags.

posted by kathy selker September 8, 2009 in northlichin'

comments

kathy says: September 8, 2009 at 8:46 pm I am compelled to report that after the first two weeks of the season, we are 2-0. As of today, we have a winning season. And the stands are full! I love football. Football is life. Reply